Monday, January 31, 2011

Weigh in #16

So another week of weight training and swimming at the pool to help get healthier.  I ate as healthy as possible.  So this week is another week and I'm paranoid about the snow coming in slowing down my working out.  I'll do what I can to work out with what I have here if the snow and ice prevents me from going out.  Last week was surprising that I dropped 7 lbs in one week.  I'm also surprised this week! I didn't loose anything.  Everyone told me it was coming.  Be prepared.  You know you did well...... Well I think I'm ok with it.  I'm not destroyed.  I figured I would have been so....here we go pushing for another week.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Plug along....

So week after week after week I try to loose weight and get healthier.  It's not boring.  It's a new challenge setting small and big goals.  I want to loose two pounds this coming week.  I'm working towards it through eating healthy and working all angles of exercise.  I know that it may be hard to obtain this week as I just lost 7 lbs but It's still a goal and I won't stop until I reach that.  Those 2 lbs will bring me up to 70 total. 

Currently I'm at 270.  That was my weight when I was married.  I put on my wedding dress and it fit - but there were areas where it was looser than when I was married. 

I've set a new goal.  This September 30th my husband and I will be married for 10 years.  That's 35 weigh ins from now and I'm hoping to be smaller than when I first met my husband.  My goal is 199 or less!!  I'm going to look back in records to know what age I was when I was last 199.  This would be almost a year in by then.  Actually 51 weeks.  When I searched out gastric bypass they told me I would probably loose 100 lbs in 1 year.  Here I'm gaining muscle and loosing fat not the other way around. 

No matter how slow or fast you can reach your goals just keep going.  Have faith in yourself.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

A great first meal together

So tonight we had a first great healthy meal all together with the intentions of eating healthy.  There was no opposition.  My son mark who usually gives the greatest problem.  Downed his food.  He even had a healthy snack later of yogurt with berries in it!!! He doesn't like any chunks in his yogurt.  We will work on adding other parts to make it a balanced snack for him. 

On another quick note I wanted to let you know that I can wear a xl pair of pants.  that's one size pants down for me!!!  Soon I'm going to attempt to fit into my last pair of prepregnancy jeans. 

I want to Thank everyone for all their support and encouragment. 

Stay tuned for more updates.... 

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Some changes among many...

There are many changes happening outside of who I am, yet inside.  Great changes, changes I've never experienced before.  I will welcome any more changes like this that are in the works. 

First set of changes:  I posted before that I could see my tippy toes while walking.  Now I can look down as see my feet - all of it.  It's been hard for kids to sit on my lap because it once was filled with rolls of fat.  The rolls are there still but it's alot less roll.  My kids can sit on my lap and be comfortable without falling off.  It's more comfortable for me to have them sit there as well because they aren't sitting on my knees.  This is a great thing for me.  It makes me want to keep going to see what else I can do.  What other things are to come.  This is a big success!!!! I'm so proud of myself!!! Now that there - being proud is a whole other change.

As I said above, the other changes I'm talking about it learning how to deal with opposition or issues in my life that led me to eat before.  I would go through pits of despair where I felt like I didn't deserve the things that were happening to me or the promise of God's gift of salvation.  I looked at it like it's just me - theres nothing he can want about me.  I'm looking at life entirely different.  I feel differently about things.  I feel like I'm worth investing my time and energy into getting healthy. God would have wanted this.  He wants us to respect the body he has given us.  If I ate healthy and didn't loose weight I think that would be fine.  I think that I'm going to try to be the best I can since he has given me this precious life.   I have something valuable to offer others.  I'm going to share it.  Faith is growing from within me.  My light is getting lit!  I'm on fire now, on fire for him. 

Monday, January 24, 2011

Weigh in #15

So as this week goes and as times goes on weight loss is supposed to get slower and slower I know.  However you want to do what you can to do it as fast as you can.  Be patient it will come off is what I'm told.  Two weeks ago, I wasn't able to do much because of hip pain.  Now that I have had hip injections and still have pain meds when I need it this week I was able to swim.  Changing what you eat and how you exercise can help motivated your body to loose.  Remember that's using different muscles and burning different cardio wise.  So........

Starting weight                       338 lbs
last week weight                    277 lbs
This week weight                   270 lbs
Weight loss this week             7 lbs
Total weight loss                    68 lbs
lbs to loose for goal                1 lb
weeks till goal                         1 lb
New goal for next week          2 lbs  for a total of 70 lbs in 16 weeks!!!

I have never lost this much weight yet alone kept it off!!!! Eating and exercising right helps!!!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

A new promise, A new hope!!

So excited.  I've been excited before.  I think it's gonna happen this time!! My husband Mark is overweight as well.  We used to take pride in eating together.  Eating lots of food together.  Today he asked me if I could start him on a Fawn way of eating this Monday.  I'm so happy!  I'm trying not to look excited.  He has been known to start things or attempt to start things and not carry through.  I did the same thing.  I believe he seems me and how much I've lost, how clothes are fitting differently, and then I'm happy with all the types of food I'm eating.  **I ask you to pray** that he's catching on here.  He only usually eats once a day and we will be not just changing his food but the routine about the food (eating 6 times a day).  As all of us who don't eat healthy we usually have addictions to things.  His addictions are soda and salt.  That will be a challenge for him.  We will work it out.  He also doesn't like to plan his food ahead. He likes to eat what he wants when he's hungry.  I told him for now until he learns how to balance his meals on his own, we'll plan things out so it will be easier for him to stick to it.  If he joins in on a healthier way of eating not only will it help him but enforce it with our children and our family members around us.  My desire is for it to spread throughout the world.  It's definitely a blessing to me.  Could it be to you too?

Thursday, January 20, 2011

How am I changing

****Working towards my goal****   I may not get there by my goal date.  However, I'm completely okay with that.  They say as you loose more weight it comes off slower and I was setting my goal according to how I was loosing weight then.  I don't feel as though I'm failing.  That word along with "Quit" isn't in my vocabulary any longer.  I will succeed even if it may take longer to do it.  It took me many years to get here in this over weight situation and I'll climb out as fast or slow as I get there. 

I have set not just weight loss goals.  I have set emotional goals as well.  Some of those are to be myself, have more confidence, learn through experience better ways to deal with the stress (since I'm not wanting to eat it anymore), do more things that I wasn't able to do as a heavier person, eat different foods that aren't in my refrigerator normally, and show these new habbits of mine  to everyone who wants to know. 

mmmmm.....wanting some cream of broccoli......  Can you tell I'm a soup girl?

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Times of struggle and sorrow....

During my downs I still have the urge to eat.  To help satisfy myself emotionally.  Going through "things" today I reached out for some fries.  I had about 6 fries.  My husband pulled them away from me so I wouldn't sabotage myself.  During these times now I don't want to eat.  I feel if I eat I will not meet my own expectations. 

Needless to say I have alot of work still on the inside.   I need to figure out a way to help me deal with problems like this in a more constructive way.  I thought maybe I would write or blog to get through those feelings.  See how that goes and if it doesn't help, I'll try something different.  At one point I exercised but I exercised really hard way beyond the breaking point. 

With ending of bad eating habits there are needs to find better habits for eating and dealing with life's downs. 

I feel as though I'm going through spiritual warfare  because I'm making positive changes in my life - all of your prayers are welcomed in helping me fight this. 

Monday, January 17, 2011

Weigh in #14

Monday, today is my next weigh in.  We have had appointments upon appointments.  I have been really busy.  I have kept going eventhough my body says rest.  I have head and chest congestion and body aches that involve my bones, muscles, and fat.  Literally every ounce.  I keep going because we've had mandatory appointments, my little ben's birthday party, and he's scheduled for his tonsils to be removed the end of this week.  Go, go, go..... I have also had trouble sleeping.  Not just getting to sleep anymore.  I seem to wake up at 4 am.....and can't get back to sleep. 

So this week I weighed in and I lost 3 lbs.  3 lbs is 3 lbs.  I'm happy about it.  It's coming off slowly which means it will stay off. 

Starting weight                                           338 lbs
Last week                                                  280 lbs
This week weight                                        277 lbs
Weight loss this week                                     3 lbs
Total weight loss                                          61 lbs

keeping on....... and on.......

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Dinner party...

This coming Saturday we are have a dinner party to reunite with some family members at my mothers house.  We are welcoming my cousin Lyn and her son from North Carolina.  My Aunt Linda, Uncle Mike, Aunt Joann, Uncle Meryl, Aunt Sharron and many more.  My Aunt Sharon is going to be moving down to North Carolina to be closer to her daughter and grandson. 

We decided to have a dinner because Lyn has also inspired me she has lost so many lbs and is fit now.  She's eating healthy and works out.  We've shared stories and she's supported me through my journey.  I also have a invited to come down and workout with her trainer!  Wonder what that would be like.  I know if I went down there I would be able to eat healthy and work out though.  It would be a great environment. 

So our menu for this dinner  is all healthy.  We will have toss salad.  Main options are chili or broiled fish with rice and broccoli and cauliflower.  I"m attempting to make a healthy option instead of cake because it's also Aunt Sharron's birthday.  I'm making a crock pot pie without crust.  I don't know how it will turn out I found it online.  Here's the idea - apples, pears, blueberries, vanilla, and cinnamon.  It just bakes in it's natural juices.

All this before we have a busy Saturday night setting up for Ben's party and Sunday with church Ben's party and teaching at our christian life club for kids.   Will be great times!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Passing it on....

It's great to see things I'm learning start to instill in my children.  My 3 year old Ben went to the kitchen brought me Wheaties, milk, a pack of individual size blueberries, bowl, spoon, and measuring cup.  He wouldn't let me but the cereal in the bowl without using the measuring spoon!

On another small note.  Our family used to frequent McDonald's value menu - often.  I'm proud to say we haven't been there in more than 6 weeks.  After I started my plan I had to wean my kids off the stuff they were used to.  My 8 year old has major issues with food.  We haven't been to McDonald's, we no longer have corn dogs or pizza rolls in the house, no chocolate junky cereal, the chocolate is rationed to every now and then.  Along with a can of Beefaroni or anything like that.  They are grateful to have it now.  It's just like when I eat in moderation.  We just made a roast but in theres I added fresh green beans this time.  They all loved it.  So the only thing to get rid of is the white potato.  We had a nice selection of beef and carrots too.  They also used can gravy one more thing to get rid of out of that meal actually. 

Think of the changes that may happen over the next year........Make them happen.

Monday, January 10, 2011

New pictures new me

Sometimes when your changing on the outside people say that your great on the inside.  That your inside doesn't need to change.  Everyone has said I have a great heart.  Well, I think I need to change on the inside.  Not that I want to get mean or angry again but change my thought process, learn about food and exercise, have myself associate that food doesn't need to be part of me every hour or that I don't have to  party or cry with enormous amounts of food.

Keep in mind these clothes look more sausage like.  My shirt is now a 2x where it used to be a 4x.  You don't know what that means to go down 2 shirt sizes.  Yes, there is more to go.  However I can't wait until I'm down one more then another.  It's all progress!!


Weigh in #13

As today came, I didn't stress about the weigh in.  I figured that it was okay if I stayed the same.  It's ok.  I've done my best for this week.  Tried walking through the pain.  It didn't work as well as the other weeks.  This week I'm starting new with a pool plan! I even ate in moderation this week.  I dealt with emotional pain this week and I'm on the other side of that now.  I'm letting my Lord take control of the situations in my life. 

This week in my journey of health!!

Starting weight                                   338
Last week weight                               282
This week weight                               280
lbs lost this week                                   2
Total weight loss                                  58

Keep going Keep going Keep going!!!!!!!!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Real friends - real family

I always thought I knew who my real friends and family were.  Let me tell you this has shed alot of light on who they truly are.  There have been many people there for me who I didn't think would be there.  They've been supportive and encouraging.  They are my rock.  I know that I will be here for them as they have been me.  Not to repay them but because during this time I have come to realize the love and caring in me for them.  The appreciation of treating me like I deserve this. 

For those out there who are trying to improve themselves in any way and have people who don't encourage you.  Or you have people who don't believe in what your doing.  You need to keep going.  I thought I needed to prove myself to them that I was going to continue with this "weight loss."  That I wasn't going to fail again.  What I learned was that I don't need to prove it to anyone.  That this is my journey.  I won't let anyone hurt me.  For all those of you out there that are my family and friends who don't support me that's okay.  Some people deal with things in different ways. 

I encourage everyone to support each other. 

Birthday Parties R' Us

After the cookie, cake, and candy Christmas season our family goes into full swing with birthday parties.  Between my son Ben, my niece and nephew, and my cousins children It seems like 2 or more a weekend. 

Today I went to two of them.  No cake No icecream.  There is one on Sunday.  Next week I have a big get together with extended family on Saturday.  On sunday we have Ben's party.  I usually use 6-10 cake mixes for the cake.  This year we are not doing as many.  I have added extra healthy food to the menu. 

For me cake and ice cream isn't important.  It's the family time.  Watching the kids play together.  Making memories.  Celebrating the birth of my precious children.  If I chose to have someting else than what's on my meal plan it would be dinner food.  I'm going to try to stay to my plan because you get to your goals as fast or as slow as you make it happen.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Exercise - this or that

*As a side note, my fellow journey member  Dawn has taken ill and is hospitalized due to other medical problems, if you will please pray for her. *

This week has been tough.  Stress had set it in.  I have relieved myself of that stress.  I know that my friends and families will be here and keeping out family lifted in prayer.  We have many great prayer warrior friends and family.  God will take care of our needs. 

On the other hand my hip is out of alignment and it's very painful.  Every time I try to step on it  I want to scream in pain.  I've only been able to do small stints of cardio on the treadmill.  I've continued the weight training.  Instead of doing cardio in pain I'm going to start this coming week at the pool swimming laps.  It will help alleviate the pressure on my hip and other parts of my body as well. 

Now with this all said I normally would have been fretting over building muscle while not burning what I consider to be a usual amount of calories this week.  I've been eating healthy and doing what I can for exercise.  With that I'm happy.   I may have said that before but now there's this peace inside me that makes me not freak out.  I'm not worried about people watching me if I hit a stand still or gain weight.  I know others who have gained and continued on their journey and I know that we're building muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. 

For me this is a big break through - thank you to all my fellow journeys who have helped me come to this conclusion. 

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Getting up before you get down

When you are faced with a trial or junk in the way of your goals take a break, sit down, pull together your support group, and pray.  

I'm doing this now.  I'm making a plan for me to adhere to my new life plan.  I'm stressed.  With stress you loosing doesn't go so well.  I'm handing my worries to my Lord.  I will pray and pray.  I will ask him for a miraculous miracle.  He is in my heart and in my house.  Wanting his will to be done. 

During times like this you'd rather just stop and pick up a quick meal.  By that I mean pizza, Chinese, McDonalds, Wendys, Burger king, Arby's, or any of the phone numbers in my cell phone for a pick up order from one of your favorite places to eat.  SO I HAD TO SIT DOWN AND MAKE OUT A MENU PLAN.  DDIFFERENT FROM WHAT I NORMALLY DO.  THIS CHANGE NEEDS A CHANGE OF EQUAL VALUE.  TO STAY ON TOP OF YOUR PLAN. 

When more information is found out I will share with you what we are going through.  I know I've ask allow of you to follow, but will you also please pray for our family through this time. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Weigh in #12

So here it is another week has gone by.  One week closer to shedding some of this unhealthiness.  It feels really good now.  Love the exercise, food, and my new way of living.  I can't believe I'm really doing it.  I haven't made it past a month before on any "diet" but look I survived Thanksgiving and Christmas and It's been 3 months! I can't really believe it!  So Thankful for those of you have stuck by me throughout the years. 

With no more delay this is what happened at our weigh in.  By that I mean take a look at my journey friend Dawn...!!!!!

Beginning weight                                        338 lbs
last week weight                                         284 lbs
this week weight                                         282 lbs
weight loss this week                                      2 lbs
Total weight loss                                          56 lbs
Next goal weight                                         269 lbs
weeks until goal                                             4 weeks
lbs still need to loose                                     13 lbs
average lbs needed to loose  per week              3.25 lbs a week

3.25 lbs per week is a little challenging this far in for 4 straight weeks but it's doable and I'm going for it.  Stay tuned....

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Be proud, accept the encouragement, accept the praise you are worth it!

I've been working on this life changing journey since October.  I have never liked elaborated praise.  A simple great job and moving on with the conversation has always been what I can deal with.  I talked to my pastors wife Marcy a couple weeks ago.  She said if you put the work in take it you earned it.  I said I'm not seeking the praise.  She said, "You don't have to be, but because everyone is proud of what your doing they want to praise and encourage you."  I guess I get it.  It takes a while to stop being embarrassed.  As in church today Pastor Larry was talking about what we've been through, changes that we've made, and any changes we want to make as we reevaluate our lives.  He asked me to stand up so people could see what I'm doing physically.  He also explained that I'm not just changing my body physically with exercise and eating healthier but growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  

I encourage all of you with your goals to except the praise and encouragement and when someone comes to you and says I need help I want to change.  To pay it forward and help.  I'm so grateful for all the help, encouragement, and praise that I've been given.  Don't get me wrong there will be those out there that will be angry and unable to express what they feel in joy for you.  The help, praise, and encouragement from others out weighs that though.  You also have to remember why you started your change.  It wasn't for the approval of them.  Keep going strong.

By the way I was in the mood to wear red today to church.  So I couldn't find my 4x shirt.  I went in my room and pulled out a shirt that i had bought about 5 to 6 weeks into my journey.  It was a 2X.  When I tried it on at the store I was a sausage roll.  Literally!  Earlier this week I tried on a 3x and it fit there was room in it.  But not as much was in the 4X  so I underestimated myself.  I fit into the 2X comfortably.  I didnt' feel like I was showing to much fat.   Next, 1X, X-large, and Large.  I don't remember wearing a large as a teenager.  I think I was into an x-large.  I can't wait until those days come and pass.